When a narcissist says,"if I didn't love you I wouldn't be here''as if their love isn't only shown by their presence and their acts. but then tells you, "no matter what I do is never good for you."

These statements are classic examples of manipulative tactics often used by narcissists. Let's break them down:<br /><br />* **"If I didn't love you, I wouldn't be here"**: This statement uses presence as a stand-in for actual love and commitment. It frames the narcissist as making a sacrifice by simply being present, shifting the focus away from their actions (or lack thereof) that demonstrate genuine care and respect. It implies that you should be grateful for their presence alone, regardless of their behavior. This is a form of emotional manipulation designed to make you question your perceptions and feel indebted to them.<br /><br />* **"No matter what I do, it's never good for you"**: This statement shifts the blame onto you. It suggests that the problem isn't their behavior, but your inability to appreciate their efforts, no matter how inadequate or hurtful those efforts may be. This tactic aims to make you feel guilty and responsible for their dissatisfaction, further eroding your self-esteem and making you more likely to tolerate their behavior. It also sets the stage for them to continue their patterns without taking responsibility.<br /><br />In essence, these statements work together to create a dynamic where the narcissist's presence is presented as a gift you don't deserve, while simultaneously blaming you for their own failings. This keeps you off-balance and makes it difficult to address the real issues in the relationship.<br />